Yes, this is about that disturbing Eminem song.
This song has always been disturbing to me, so much so that I used to avoid listening to it. Eminem’s career was built upon the expression of feelings that make people cringe, so I willingly fulfilled his purpose. I would change the station after about 15 seconds of the song, enough to enjoy the rhythm and enough to grow sick of the hatred. However, since I am an avid radio station revolver, this accrued to the entire song and I soon saw a diamond in the rough.
It is the only rap song that has been able to impress me with its depth. But not only is it deep, but I believe it actually taps the vein of truth about human nature that secular culture has chosen to ignore. It is a surprising source of Christian theology.
I have been working on this for a while, so I will try to keep it short. Thanks to @dear-abbie for giving me an excuse to post this, since I claim no expertise on Eminem, rap music, or anything else. Just calling it as I see it.
This song demonstrates the division of self and despair that results from following emotion wherever it leads.
I trust your internet skills to find the song itself, but here is the text, since I will be focusing on the words:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[Chorus - Rihanna]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that’s all right because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that’s all right because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
[Eminem - Verse 1]
I can’t tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it’s a steel knife in my windpipe
I can’t breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it’s like I’m in flight
High off her love, drunk from my hate, it’s like I’m huffin’ pain
And I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I’m about to drown, she resuscitates me, she &%(#in’ hates me
And I love it, “wait, where you goin’?”
“I’m leavin’ you,” “no you ain’t come back”
We’re runnin’ right back, here we go again
So insane, cause when it’s goin’ good it’s goin’ great
I’m superman with the wind at his back, she’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad it’s awful, I feel so ashamed I snap
Who’s that dude? I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength
[Chorus]
[Eminem - Verse 2]
You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you with em you meet and neither one of you even know what hit em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills used to get em
Now you’re getting &%(#in’ sick of lookin’ at em
You swore you’d never hit em, never do nothin’ to hurt em
Now you’re in each other’s face spewin’ venom in your words when you spit em
You push pull each other’s hair
Scratch claw hit em throw em down pin em
So lost in the moments when you’re in em
It’s the rage that’s the culprit, controls you both
So they say it’s best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya
Cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it’s a different day
Sound like broken records playin’ over
But you promised her next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that’s why they call it window pane
[Chorus]
[Eminem - Verse 3]
Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn’t mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper’s just as bad as mine is, you’re the same as me
When it comes to love you’re just as blinded
Baby please come back, it wasn’t you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed I’ll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time there won’t be no next time
I apologize even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games I just want her back
I know I’m a liar if she ever tries to &%(#in’ leave again
I’ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
Just gonna
[Chorus]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first thing to note is the tone of frustration throughout the verses. It’s the key to understanding this song. It’s quite obvious when you hear it, but you can see it in the broken off sentences and back-and-forth construction. I would also point to lines like “We’re running right back, here we go again/So insane,” “Sound like broken records playin’ over,” and “I’m tired of the games.”
Frustration arises from problems you can’t fix, as we shall see.
If I were to diagnose the problem with the relationship, I would quickly reply that it is that Eminem is 100% controlled by his emotions - then I would quickly run away to avoid his wrath.
From the first line he states that all he has is feelings, not answers. They supersede his morality - “as long as the wrong feels right it’s like I’m in flight” They are why he stays in the relationship - “high off her love” - and why he abuses his love - “drunk from my hate.”
He follows every whim of his emotions back and forth, from undying love - “I’m superman” - to murderous hate - “I’ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire.” He even admits that rage “controls” him. He has no control, he follows his feelings wherever terrible places they go.
The only thing he is left with is frustration because he is powerless to fix anything. He is incapable of being happy.
Chasing his feelings back and forth results in such contrasting behaviors that he talks about himself as a stranger: “I snap/Who’s that dude? I don’t even know his name.”
However, he can’t blame it on someone else, because he realizes that he is capable and culpable of all of the evil committed: “I guess I don’t know my own strength.”
Eminem realizes that there is something wrong inside of him, which is of course the starting point of the Gospel - understood in terms of the sin nature. However, because feelings are his guide, he has no standards to call it “wrong.” He says that he is “ashamed” when it comes out, but then he dons it again, “I apologize even though I know it’s lies.” He can’t muster up a real apology no matter what right-sounding words he uses.
Because of this, reconciliation is impossible - another keystone of the Gospel. The last verse starts with an attempt at obtaining and offering forgiveness and ends with murder via arson. He cannot follow through with reconciliation because the core problem has not been dealt with.
He never offers a solution, just promises to “never stoop so low again” and “show restraint.” He can only say that he’ll “aim [his] fist at the drywall,” not gain control of his angry heart. That is, he acknowledges that there is rage inside him, but accepts its presence rather than removing it. Since it is a feeling as much as any other, it has the same claim to be a part of him and therefore, he has no grounds to purge it.
As long as he has a natural bend toward lying and violence, the relationship will end in destruction. This is why the song ends with the chorus’ lament and despair.
As for Rihanna’s part, I will comment on my interpretation of “I love the way you lie.” In that simple statement she (her character, I suppose) is both stating her weakness for the confessions of love - though they are betrayed - and her appreciation that the curses are taken back, too. She loves the sound of the love letters and the short life of the threats.
So, I enjoy the song because it shows two hearts that are looking for something to break them free from themselves - a struggle that I am undertaking, as well. It is difficult to find sometimes, even though I know the fount of all blessings and the one who crucified the my sinful nature on the cross with him - Jesus Christ.
“For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find.”
Romans 7:18
“The backslider in heart will be filled with his own ways, but a good man will be satisfied from above.”
Proverbs 14:14
