I’m not usually there when people are talking behind my back. Even still, I’m certain that if I am being described by someone who knows me to someone more fortunate, the first attribute mentioned is my hair. That is the most basic way that my hair is a part of my identity. It is how I am recognized - proven by being treated as a stranger when I cut my hair July last.

Another symptom of sporting the lovely locks is that everyone has an opinion of you. Well, an opinion that happens to concern you. Everyone you encounter wants you either to grow it out or wants you to cut it. Predictably, my mother is the only one who accepts my hair for the length it is. If I had normal boy hair again, there would be much less discussion about me. I’m not a guy that needs to be talked about, but if I became suddenly less interesting of a character, all of my witty hair-related retorts would go to waste. I might have to talk about things other than my hair, which I am not ready for. I think we an all agree that that would fall into the bad idea category. My hair is controversial, but it is safe conversationally.

Also, run-of-the-mill boy hair is never complimented. It exists as it is to be ignored. Upon a good hair day, really a relatively great hair day, I will garner a compliment or two. Compliments of any other sort don’t happen. I like getting compliments, so sue me if I scrounge for the few I can find.

Of course, cutting my hair has definite advantages. Life without hair in the face is pretty awesome, I cannot lie. Driving with the windows down with the “wind in my hair” is not a pleasurable experience. That is a myth. Post-shower hair wrangling takes longer than the shower itself. Being able to go back to night showers would be convenient for me, being precluded right now by the fact that my mane turns into something unspeakable if slept on with the tiniest hydration. Not being treated as a druggie by strangers would be nice.

My ears have always been an issue. In elementary school, a boy I know - obviously not a friend - called me Dumbo. You may not know that my ears are quite prominent. That’s because my hair has kept them safe and relatively hidden. When the hair is gone, all bets are off. I don’t know how the public will react.

So that’s what’s going on in my mind beneath the hair.

Ches